The glass is half full

I’m trying to think on the bright side. Dealing with a low milk supply has been one of the most difficult things I have been through. I had every intention of breastfeeding and never even considered that the one thing that was supposed to be so natural would be so, well, unnatural. I figured when women didn’t breastfeed their babies that they just hadn’t tried hard enough or had been selfish and given up too early. Having gone through this I will never judge anyone again. While feeding a baby isn’t the only aspect that there is to being a mother, those first few months it is easy for it to take precedence. Food is pretty much the main thing other than love that you can give a tiny infant. While I made every effort to solely breastfeed (and I’m glad that I don’t have any regrets for not trying literally everything) my body had other plans. But I kept on. Instead of having all that bonding time with my baby I was hooked up to a damn machine to pump the few little ounces that would come out per day.

But this isn’t a sob story. As I am a glass half full kind of girl and now that I’m done with all that new mom haze here is what I have discovered. I produced on average 11 ounces per day. That’s certainly not enough to feed a growing person. BUT I did the math…Lucy has been here for 226 days and to date I have produced approximately 2,486 ounces. Not bad when I look at it that way. If I had given up in the beginning when breastfeeding wasn’t going as planned Lucy would have missed out on lots of ounces of her mom’s milk. And as an added bonus she just started to nurse again about a month ago. So yea, while we haven’t had a typical breastfeeding relationship I am so grateful that we have been able to stick with it.

Maybe God has allowed me to go through this to prepare me for my next baby. Maybe I wouldn’t appreciate how precious a nursing relationship can be. Maybe I would have been annoyed if she wanted to nurse all the time. Maybe I would have resented her for making me step out of the room at social events because she wanted to comfort nurse. I pray that if I am able to solely nurse my next baby that I will understand the amazingness of it and cherish every moment.