taking a break (aka working)

I'm a working mom. At least for a few weeks.

I have to admit, I feel a little guilty about being excited to go back to work for a bit. I certainly didn't quit to stay home with Lucy because I didn't like my job. In fact, I love my job. I love what I do. I love being creative. I love the pressure of getting a job done in an unrealistic, short time frame. Ok, I don't always love that part but, in general, I love what I do.

Mostly, I love being handed something and knowing exactly how to finish that task. There's a bit of calm in having confidence in what I'm doing. At work I don't fret about doing it right, or what to do next, or if I'm going to make a mistake and screw up a little person. (gotta love mom guilt). Yea, the mom job is the most important and challenging of all.

I have never felt so completely inadequate to perform a job as I do at this job of being a mother.

In the past, the thought crossed my mind that stay at home moms kind of had it easy. I mean, how hard can changing diapers, making lunches and playing with crayons and play-doh really be? I figured that, perhaps, stay at home moms didn't really have or want a careen to begin with (I know, that's a pretty ridiculous generalization). Oh boy, was I wrong. Many of the women that I know who have decided to stay at home have really toiled over this decision. Many are hard working, good money making, well educated women. This isn't an easy decision. Some women are called to be a full time mom early on. Some make the decision after realizing that juggling the two are too much to handle (like me). And some, I don't know how these super women do it, keep working. I continue to be impressed with women who have little ones at home and work. Two full time jobs.

But even though I have enjoyed these few weeks back at work, I am completely certain that I have made the right decision. When I'm away I feel like I am missing so much. These moments are flying by and it is hard to pay someone else to enjoy these moments instead of me.