Do I believe in miracles?
I know this might be a bit heavy for this silly little blog but it is what is on my mind (a lot lately, actually) and It's my blog so I can talk about whatever I want.
I got to go to Bible study this morning. I never pictured myself as the go-to-bible-study-during-the-morning-on-tuesdays kind of a girl but here I am. Going to a ladies Bible study on tuesday morning as long as I'm not at work which has actually worked out pretty well (which might be a miracle in it's self).
We had a special speaker this morning. The pastor of the church where the bible study is held. I basically haven't stopped tearing up since he spoke. He told the story of his mom passing away. He was 12 when she was diagnosed with cancer, watched her suffer through surgeries and treatments until the doctors told them that there was nothing left they could do. She went home with the expectation to die in two years. She didn't die in two years. Actually, the cancer went away. The doctor called it a miracle. God answered the prayers of many and performed a miracle on her. She went on to live for 17 more years, saw both of her sons get married and then the cancer came back and she was gone within six months.
So of course this got me thinking about my own mom's passing (hence the tears). I've never really thought of my mother passing away as a miracle. I've been so focused on not having my mother (more now than ever since I've had my own little girl). But then it hit me. My mother nearly lost her life when I was only two. I would have never known her. I was given 8 more years with her. I got to know her and I have the most amazing memories of her. Praise God!
It is so easy to be negative, down, frustrated. Why me, God? If you are in control then why would you let this happen? Why would you let my father raise us on his own? Why would my mother never get to meet her granddaughter?
But I do believe that my God is in control. With my human mind I can't even imagine what He has planned for me or for us. But he let me know my mother and have time with her.
And she was amazing. And she is in heaven. And I will see her again.
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